Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Homeschool/Stay-at-home Envy

I have meant to write this post for quite a while now. I am confessing here and now that I have homeschool envy. I am a homeschool wanna-be. Today, in particular, I am feeling very envious of all the moms who get to stay home and teach their children. My oldest son has a bad cold and was awake for several hours in the night. My husband and I decided to keep him home from school. I lay down with him around 5:30 AM (hubby had already been with him for at least 2 hours by that point!) and got him back to sleep around 5:45. Instead of rolling over and being able to go to sleep myself, I had to lie there and worry about how to get my classroom covered so I could stay home. At 6:45 I called two of the people I can use as subs. Neither could sub for me. So, I had to call my mom to come out and stay with the boys while I went to teach. I am very lucky to have her living close by and always willing to help. I was able to get my classroom covered in the afternoon (by my mom!) so I could come home. However, I started my work day today fighting back tears of frustration because I could not be home with my own child!! Don't get me wrong..........I love my job and enjoy being there. I even enjoyed it this morning after reassuring myself that my son was cozy in his own home with his own grandma watching him.........he was in good hands. But I desperately wanted those good hands to be MINE. I admit that on a daily basis I have homeschool was just really strong today. I know homeschooling is not easy. And I'm sure homeschooling parents have many days or at least moments when they wonder if they are doing the "right thing". They may even have moments of envy towards the parents who leave the house and go out into the work world each day. I am just saying that I would have given anything today to be able to stay home and take care of my son all day........that's the way it should be.


Angela said...

What's holding you back? Follow your heart. We live on one (currently VERY LOW) income. But it is worth every second of it. I am a former teacher but wouldn't go back to the classroom for anything right now. Being home is a dream come true. Follow your dreams.

BTW, I am constantly 'stealing' your activities to use in my homeschooling. Thanks for sharing them.....they are awesome!!!

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry. :(

I SAH with my two and we're doing a loose homeschool program this year and I spend way too many hours at night worrying about if we're doing enough, if they should be in preschool, if they're learning enough, etc. etc.

I know that I take SAH for granted, esp. on sick days. I'm so sorry you have to leave your boys, especially when they're sick. I can imagine the ache your heart was feeling. :( I hope he's doing better now. We'll be thinking of your family.

Totally random-but could you make some $$ off your site/ideas? I just found your blog a month or two ago and we're in HEAVEN! It's been so fun to incorporate more themes/ideas into our days.

You've been an answer to my prayers of being at home-it's nice to see what other kids are learning/doing in 'school' and also use ideas for math/reading, etc. that I never would have thought of on my own. Could you possibly sell a curriculum? ideas? a book? consulting? Maybe a personalized curriculum?

I'm just brainstorming-but I know I'd be more than happy to pay for your wonderful ideas. Or, what about a home preschool/Montessori? One of my issues with Montessori here is that the school is a drive and it's all day, every day. I'd LOVE to find a homeschool program/rotation or a home program that's just a few days a week-even if it's still on the expensive side. I'd pay for a good provider, good ideas, etc. I'm just bouncing off ideas, you have talent and I'm sure you're an amazing teacher.

Big hugs to you! I'm sorry about your day. :( I hope your little guy feels better soon and you find peace. I'll be thinking of you.

Thank you again for sharing with all of us. We're blessed to have so many people so willing to share and so much information available to us.

Hugs to you! (and thank you again!)

Treasuresofjoy said...

I LOVE yor blog (from a homeschooler). Homeschooling is easy, IMO, but a full time job. You would think "Oh I can get a few things done around the house," but really schooling is a sacrifice of YOUR time. I wouldn't change it for anything though.

Alycia in Va said...

I couldn't have written this post better myself. I am also a teacher who dreams of being a homeschooler.
It's sad though that you guys don't have a better substitute program set up.

mary grace said...

Living on one income is not easy. We have made tremendous sacrifices over the years and barely kept our heads above water for the first decade of our marriage. But we did it. Anyone can. Seriously. I'll be praying for you!

Anonymous said...

I have been on both sides of the fence. I worked full-time (at a job I really liked) but hated having my kids in public school and daycare (it just wasn't a very good fit for us). Now I am a SAHM and homeschooler (I work from home part-time). I am much happier with this life, but I sometimes have working-outside-the-home-mom envy. :-) I occasionally fantasize about the office -- where I got guidance an affirmation from co-workers and I could make a phone call or use the bathroom without being interrupted! *LOL* And I had an actual retirement plan! :-)

I don't think either path is easy. I hope if you really want to leave your job, at some point, it works out. I also hope your school gets a better sub program.

Thanks for your wonderful websites!

Laura S. said...

One thing that is hard for teachers to get past sometimes is that we CAN be replaced in the classroom on occasion. I know the guilt is horrible when you feel as if you leave your students at the last minute without preparing them first. However, in the end, we know they will be just fine. Maria Montessori said the classroom should function as if the teacher doesn't exist. The next time you know you're needed more as a Mommmy than a teacher, I hope you will have the strength to call your principal and just say you can't make it.

I will be thinking of you!

Marcia said...

I'm another HSing mom that checks out your blog for fun ideas to use in our home. Keep listening to what God wants for your family. Blessings to you!

Patricia said...

I think you're an amazing Mom and teacher and you've inspired me to be a better mom and teacher. Finding a balance between work and home is difficult, but you do such a great job with you boys and it is obvious that you are so devoted to your family. We all have times when we worry if we are doing the right thing and spending enough time with out families. Thank you for writing this post. You are not alone in all these feelings.