Monday, January 12, 2009

Wistful

Webster's defines the word "wistful" as follows: 1. full of unfulfilled longing or desire; YEARNING 2. musingly sad: PENSIVE. The first definition pretty accurately describes something I felt this evening. I was downstairs walking on the treadmill when my littlest boy came downstairs to talk to me. While I was very mildly irritated by the disruption to my workout, I was still glad to see him. He was being very sweet and was concerned that our cat was too close to the treadmill. He chattered to me for a few minutes before heading back upstairs where Daddy and big brother were. As he paused by the door before going up the steps, it struck me how very little he still is. His head only comes up to about the height of the doorknob. And then it immediately hit me how quickly time is passing. I briefly tried (unsuccessfully) to imagine him as a teenager in the exact same spot, towering above the doorknob where only the top of him reaches today. The adjective that popped into my head at that moment was wistful. I know that when he is a big (teenage) boy, I will have many moments of wistfulness, thinking about how small and needy he used to be. Perhaps there will come a time where he won't have a pressing desire to talk to me in the middle of my workout, but I would gladly take the disruptions if only I could keep him small a little longer.

2 comments:

Laura H said...

I guess I feel "wistful" everyday. I have a teenager and 2 little ones. I got to say raising small ones is WAY easier than teenagers. So I'm just trying to enjoy them now and not wish their youth away.

Beth D. said...

Dang it, you made me cry, Laura! I feel exactly like you do. I have always said childhood is full of bittersweet moments. You are happy your children are growing up, healthy, happy and moving on to new milestones, but you are sad at all you are leaving behind. Reed is a teenager who is above that doorknob now! I really like all the neat things he can do now and the good, in depth conversations we can have, but I do miss holding him and taking care of his every need. I just can't believe how fast time goes and how it gets faster all the time. My littlest one is now six! How did that happen already?! I guess it just shows we have to cherish each day and do our scrapbooking and 365 album before it all becomes a blur. Thanks for always being so right on with what I am thinking and for being a great friend!